I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
