mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
