What a fucking waste of an outfit
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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