My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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