yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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