new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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