That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
