you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
