at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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