Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
