ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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