there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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