Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
