physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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