Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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