I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
