Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
