DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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