Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
