So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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