So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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