I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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