Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
