There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
