well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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