I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize