You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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