we have pet lesbian snakes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
