Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
