is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
