i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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