someone get that fucking seahorse.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A bitchslap is in order.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize