Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
