Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
