He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
