do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
