Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
