cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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