And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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