thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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