i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
