I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
