I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
