Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
