Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
