I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
