3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
