And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS