she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.