If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.