i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.