its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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