i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize