the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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