can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
