I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
