R you on birth control?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN