Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
