i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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