ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.