Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.