Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes