whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.