She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize