In the future we'll all be gay
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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