Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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