she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
