her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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