Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize