Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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