What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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