And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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