My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
