He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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