forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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