i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
