I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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